Rudy Carpenter should have talked to Matt Leinart. He should have asked him about what happens when you are a total douche and run your mouth in front of the cameras. I hate Leinart for two reasons. One, after Vince Young showed USC what a bad ass QB he his, Leinart tried to scramble and got his world rocked by a monster hit from a UT linebacker. After that, Leinart would scramble a few yards and then slide like a bitch. Then, after losing the game (shortly before hitting the bars with Nick Lachey) he told the press "I still think we are the better team." Retard.
ASU's QB, Rudy, left the game in the fourth like a sobbing little girl. Limping off the field after the Texas defense rocked his world for the previous 3 quarters. The dude got sacked 4 times and had to throw the ball away before getting body slammed many more. It was nice. Especially since he'd been running his mouth all week.
Towards the end of the fourth quarter ASU had "-7 yards" rushing. So weak. Just goes to show BCS rankings are jacked. UT was roughly 19th and ASU was 11th going in.
This win really sets my mind at ease for next season. I think UT should have a great season.
Hook'em Horns!
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Man's Greatest Triumph
Man has an impressive resume.
More than any other species he has harnessed the natural environment around him. He has traveled to the moon. He has changed the landscape with buildings and roads. He has made lakes in the desert and built islands in the ocean.
Man also has infinite creative potential. The music of Mozart. The artistic miracles of Michelangelo. The philosophical works of Socrates, John Locke, Descartes. He has gained insight into the intangible forces working around him through the piercing minds of Newton, Einstein, and Hawking.
Most amazing to me, man has conquered himself. The secrets of the human body and the illnesses that afflict it are being unraveled in more and more detail daily. Man is now able to grow organs on mice, use bacteria to produce life-saving insulin, and use a wide array of synthetic compounds to treat disease.
All these forces have been working in unison to align man for his greatest achievement.
So then, what is Man's greatest triumph? I Can't Believe It's not Butter 0 calorie spray.
Butter is the Julius Caesar of the food world. It has conquered even the most vile tasting foods and given them the opportunity to rise to greatness. It can act as a lubricant to prevent food from adhering to dishes. But like Caesar, butter is not without flaw. It is calorie dense and has sent many to an early artery-clogged grave. But no more.
Man has captured the powerful flavor of butter and stripped away the evil--removed the thorn from the rose.
Truly, these are amazing times.
More than any other species he has harnessed the natural environment around him. He has traveled to the moon. He has changed the landscape with buildings and roads. He has made lakes in the desert and built islands in the ocean.
Man also has infinite creative potential. The music of Mozart. The artistic miracles of Michelangelo. The philosophical works of Socrates, John Locke, Descartes. He has gained insight into the intangible forces working around him through the piercing minds of Newton, Einstein, and Hawking.
Most amazing to me, man has conquered himself. The secrets of the human body and the illnesses that afflict it are being unraveled in more and more detail daily. Man is now able to grow organs on mice, use bacteria to produce life-saving insulin, and use a wide array of synthetic compounds to treat disease.
All these forces have been working in unison to align man for his greatest achievement.
So then, what is Man's greatest triumph? I Can't Believe It's not Butter 0 calorie spray.
Butter is the Julius Caesar of the food world. It has conquered even the most vile tasting foods and given them the opportunity to rise to greatness. It can act as a lubricant to prevent food from adhering to dishes. But like Caesar, butter is not without flaw. It is calorie dense and has sent many to an early artery-clogged grave. But no more.
Man has captured the powerful flavor of butter and stripped away the evil--removed the thorn from the rose.
Truly, these are amazing times.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Vacation.
I am on vacation. Thats why all my posts have been about "my life" instead "cool medical mishaps." At any rate, when my last shift ended at 7 AM I headed to conference. I had just 3.5 hours to remain awake until I started 2 weeks and 3 days of vacation. As conference progressed my throat felt scratchier and scratchier. I was getting a cold.
Not a big deal. 3-5 days and its over. Except that for the last four years, EVERY time, w/o fail, that I get a viral URI I subsequently contract a bacterial sinus infection and suffer airway hyper-reactivity. This inevitably requires antibiotics and corticosteroids.
It started like this. I've visited the same nurse practitioner since I started medical school. It was the end of my first year and we were at the most intense portion of the curriculum, a class called "Mechanisms of Disease" and I got a viral URI. I went in pleading for early intervention. She correctly denied, being skillful in dealing with young know-nothing know-it-alls. Told me if I wasn't better in a week, come back. Good advice--advice I've dispensed about 1.7 million times to patients of my own since.
So a week later I come back. Febrile, wheezing, and lymph nodes the size of whole pecans all over my neck. A month later after a long course of steroids and antibiotics I was 10 pounds lighter and finally able to maintain consciousness for over an hour. I could also complete physical feats such as walking to class without stopping to hit the inhaler--I've never had asthma before this. In 20/20 hindsight, think I probably had mono.
So this brings me to my vacation. Ever since I demonstrated my body's ability to initiate an inflamatory self-destructive response of massive proportions the NP treated me promptly. Unfortunately she retired. So here I was, on vacation, descending downward into a slow, mucousy, wheezy death. Luckily, I've managed to develop the networking resources that I have practitioners willing to work me in and that know me well enough to give me the respect of near self diagnosis.
So I got my steroids. Now the problem. Steroids make me insane. So I've reached a point in my vacation of penetrating insomnia--hypomania if you will. But here's the catch. Some people become efficient and get a lot done--ideal for a vacation. Not me. My severe ADHD only allows me to do things such as sit in front of the TV and flip channels for an hour at a time, spend countless hours bouncing around the internet, or starting tasks and only partially completing them before moving on to another.
Oh well. I suppose only a jack ass would complain about being on vacation. Especially since I just learned on the National Geographic Channel that the sun will one day become a white dwarf and LIFE WILL END!
Not a big deal. 3-5 days and its over. Except that for the last four years, EVERY time, w/o fail, that I get a viral URI I subsequently contract a bacterial sinus infection and suffer airway hyper-reactivity. This inevitably requires antibiotics and corticosteroids.
It started like this. I've visited the same nurse practitioner since I started medical school. It was the end of my first year and we were at the most intense portion of the curriculum, a class called "Mechanisms of Disease" and I got a viral URI. I went in pleading for early intervention. She correctly denied, being skillful in dealing with young know-nothing know-it-alls. Told me if I wasn't better in a week, come back. Good advice--advice I've dispensed about 1.7 million times to patients of my own since.
So a week later I come back. Febrile, wheezing, and lymph nodes the size of whole pecans all over my neck. A month later after a long course of steroids and antibiotics I was 10 pounds lighter and finally able to maintain consciousness for over an hour. I could also complete physical feats such as walking to class without stopping to hit the inhaler--I've never had asthma before this. In 20/20 hindsight, think I probably had mono.
So this brings me to my vacation. Ever since I demonstrated my body's ability to initiate an inflamatory self-destructive response of massive proportions the NP treated me promptly. Unfortunately she retired. So here I was, on vacation, descending downward into a slow, mucousy, wheezy death. Luckily, I've managed to develop the networking resources that I have practitioners willing to work me in and that know me well enough to give me the respect of near self diagnosis.
So I got my steroids. Now the problem. Steroids make me insane. So I've reached a point in my vacation of penetrating insomnia--hypomania if you will. But here's the catch. Some people become efficient and get a lot done--ideal for a vacation. Not me. My severe ADHD only allows me to do things such as sit in front of the TV and flip channels for an hour at a time, spend countless hours bouncing around the internet, or starting tasks and only partially completing them before moving on to another.
Oh well. I suppose only a jack ass would complain about being on vacation. Especially since I just learned on the National Geographic Channel that the sun will one day become a white dwarf and LIFE WILL END!
Monday, December 17, 2007
I'm coming out.
I can't take it anymore. I've got to "out" myself.
I like Justin Timberlake. Yeah, I know.
Seriously though. His music is catchy. Who couldn't relate to the hook, "I'm bringing sexy back." Plus he does for dancing what Dirk Nowitzki or Steve Nash does for basketball--gives white kids all over the world a reason to aspire. And you KNOW that guy pulls bitches like a Makc truck. Props where they are due, ya' know?
Now, I haven't seen any of the movies he's been in, but his acting is what really sold me. The "Dick in a Box" skit was just awesomely awesome. Check here if you haven't seen it.
"Every single holiday a dick in a box." So solid.
So props to you J.T. No longer do I have to secretly carry the burden of Timberlake enjoyment.
If for no other reason, give the dude props because he tagged Britney Spears when she looked like this. Strong work, I don't care what anyone says.
I like Justin Timberlake. Yeah, I know.
Seriously though. His music is catchy. Who couldn't relate to the hook, "I'm bringing sexy back." Plus he does for dancing what Dirk Nowitzki or Steve Nash does for basketball--gives white kids all over the world a reason to aspire. And you KNOW that guy pulls bitches like a Makc truck. Props where they are due, ya' know?
Now, I haven't seen any of the movies he's been in, but his acting is what really sold me. The "Dick in a Box" skit was just awesomely awesome. Check here if you haven't seen it.
"Every single holiday a dick in a box." So solid.
So props to you J.T. No longer do I have to secretly carry the burden of Timberlake enjoyment.
If for no other reason, give the dude props because he tagged Britney Spears when she looked like this. Strong work, I don't care what anyone says.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
31,556,926 seconds
At about 1630 today I had amassed a year of marriage. This is an onerous event. The success of my marriage probably hung in the balance. I needed to bring the junk. I was throwing to Casey, in the bottom of the ninth, bases drunk.
I did it. I brought the heat. In a blitzkrieg of planning I put together a romantic trip. The wife and I celebrated in Fredericksburg, TX. It was a real triumph for me. Generally I tend to drop the ball on special occasions, but this time I managed to schedule a little get away at a romantic B&B in the Texas Wine Country.
We just got back from Napa about a month ago so I thought this would be a good trip. We had so much fun winery hopping that I couldn't wait to replicate the experience, but in Texas, a far superior state. Well, we still had a blast, but we only visited one winery.
Fredericksburg has all these crap shops in their "Historic Downtown" that peddle all varieties of stuff. By about 2 PM I was ready for a drink (we got up about 11 and shopping is my Kryptonite), and luckily we happened across a tasting room. Solid. The lady asked me if I liked red or white wine. I said red. She went for a bottle of White Zin. An honest mistake, most of her patrons probably aren't wine drinkers, especially those that are as young as I look. I drank my offering and asked if she had any Cabs. She grabbed three bottles off the shelf and began pouring. The nose was a mix of Listerine and Mad Dog 20/20. I'll save you the rest of the tasting notes. Anyway, after that my wife and I decided we'd just enjoy the town and skip the wineries.
We did have a great time. We ate at a great restaurant that night called Rathskeller and were happy to find a Napa Cabernet amongst the wine offerings. The food was decidedly Texas, but with a gourmet flair. For instance, I had fried catfish with fries and interestingly prepared red beans.
I'm finally starting to feel human again. I have the next two weeks off and that makes me very happy. Last Thursday I realized I had been awake for all but 9 of the previous 60 hours and had eating maybe 2500 calories in that time span. Thats uncool. My wife allowed me to sleep in, minus one morning where she roused me with her patented poking between the eyes. I ate myself sick two nights in a row. All in all, a great weekend.
I eager look forward to the next 31.5 million seconds!
I did it. I brought the heat. In a blitzkrieg of planning I put together a romantic trip. The wife and I celebrated in Fredericksburg, TX. It was a real triumph for me. Generally I tend to drop the ball on special occasions, but this time I managed to schedule a little get away at a romantic B&B in the Texas Wine Country.
We just got back from Napa about a month ago so I thought this would be a good trip. We had so much fun winery hopping that I couldn't wait to replicate the experience, but in Texas, a far superior state. Well, we still had a blast, but we only visited one winery.
Fredericksburg has all these crap shops in their "Historic Downtown" that peddle all varieties of stuff. By about 2 PM I was ready for a drink (we got up about 11 and shopping is my Kryptonite), and luckily we happened across a tasting room. Solid. The lady asked me if I liked red or white wine. I said red. She went for a bottle of White Zin. An honest mistake, most of her patrons probably aren't wine drinkers, especially those that are as young as I look. I drank my offering and asked if she had any Cabs. She grabbed three bottles off the shelf and began pouring. The nose was a mix of Listerine and Mad Dog 20/20. I'll save you the rest of the tasting notes. Anyway, after that my wife and I decided we'd just enjoy the town and skip the wineries.
We did have a great time. We ate at a great restaurant that night called Rathskeller and were happy to find a Napa Cabernet amongst the wine offerings. The food was decidedly Texas, but with a gourmet flair. For instance, I had fried catfish with fries and interestingly prepared red beans.
I'm finally starting to feel human again. I have the next two weeks off and that makes me very happy. Last Thursday I realized I had been awake for all but 9 of the previous 60 hours and had eating maybe 2500 calories in that time span. Thats uncool. My wife allowed me to sleep in, minus one morning where she roused me with her patented poking between the eyes. I ate myself sick two nights in a row. All in all, a great weekend.
I eager look forward to the next 31.5 million seconds!
Monday, December 10, 2007
Getting hitched.
Being married is in. In-tense. In-teresting. In-evitable. I am married. Its changed my life. Like finding religion does for people with cancer.
Well, last Sunday, my only day of deliverance from 18 hour work days I went with my wife to get our son's picture made with Santa. He was so well behaved! He posed VERY nicely. Oh, my son is a cat. His name is Harley. Thats just one example of the pathology that marriage has evoked in my life.
I do other stuff. Like, this is the first Christmas I've ever purchased Christmas presents. Usually my mom buys them and I take credit. This year I've actually selected and purchased a few. Now, granted, my wife has done the bulk of the Christmas shopping. But to think this time last year I was bracing myself for the waves of marriage to crash ashore blows my mind. What really blows my mind is that this time next year I'll be a complete person. Complete with job, salary, and a fancy degree that puts letters before my name. For shits sake, my wife drives a friggin Lexus. I'm old.
I'm so old. The last bastion of my bachelorhood has been vanquished as well. My Jeep. Man, THAT thing was the balls. Sold to myself in 5 years. A youngish guy with a baby and a hot wife. I'm left with no trace of my previous life.
And I love it.
Well, last Sunday, my only day of deliverance from 18 hour work days I went with my wife to get our son's picture made with Santa. He was so well behaved! He posed VERY nicely. Oh, my son is a cat. His name is Harley. Thats just one example of the pathology that marriage has evoked in my life.
I do other stuff. Like, this is the first Christmas I've ever purchased Christmas presents. Usually my mom buys them and I take credit. This year I've actually selected and purchased a few. Now, granted, my wife has done the bulk of the Christmas shopping. But to think this time last year I was bracing myself for the waves of marriage to crash ashore blows my mind. What really blows my mind is that this time next year I'll be a complete person. Complete with job, salary, and a fancy degree that puts letters before my name. For shits sake, my wife drives a friggin Lexus. I'm old.
I'm so old. The last bastion of my bachelorhood has been vanquished as well. My Jeep. Man, THAT thing was the balls. Sold to myself in 5 years. A youngish guy with a baby and a hot wife. I'm left with no trace of my previous life.
And I love it.
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